So, it's official. I will never sleep again. Ever. Stinger-phobes beware:
The European hornet flies at night.
Yes, in the darkness, where you can't see the little demons and their horrible little stingers. You just hear an ominous buzzing in the darkness, like the Jaws theme, only you're not idiotic enough to swim in the ocean at night. Maybe you just went for a walk on dry land in harmless suburbia. That's fair. You could even be traveling in groups and toting a whole arsenal of weapons to protect you from muggers and serial killers.Against the hornet, however, you are helpless. A sitting duck. Stinger pincushion. Reduced to gibbering idiot or fleeing, shrieking banshee, arms waving in the air and spittle dripping off your chin.
These are big, meaty bugs, too -- a full inch and a half long -- and they eat other bees for breakfast. (Not kidding.)
But that's just unnatural. They’re supposed to be blind at night and huddle in their little nests until daylight like all the other stinger-bearing demons. But no. Somebody has to be contrary. So how do you avoid them? Hang out under the porch light? Uh, no. Don't do that. They like night lights even better than darkness. In fact, they're drawn to the light. Shudder.I guess you could just stay inside. But did you know that some hornets nest inside your walls? Seriously. Hundreds of them per nest . . . willing to fly in darkness . . .
Night-night. Sleep tight. Don't let the . . . <shudder>